If you’ve been dreaming about an island vacation, with golden beaches and gentle waves lapping at your feet, and suddenly the travelbug bites you and have this irresistible urge to catch a flight to the Carribean, put a lid on it, and read this article carefully. For $20 and a weekend, you can go island hopping in the vicinity of New York, in a weekend getaway which Seth Kugel, New York Times, labels as the Five Borough Antilles trip, and includes excursions to City Island, Bronx; Randalls Island, Roosevelt Island & Governors Island, Manhattan and Broad Channel, Queens.

It is the journey to Roosevelt Island that is the most fun. The little red tram, the closest thing new york City has to a ski lift, takes off from the brightly colored station at 60th Street and Second Avenue and whisks you across the river for the price of a subway trip. Bring binoculars and take advantage of a great aerial views of the city: watch the traffic up and down First Avenue, spot the aerobics class in a gym a few blocks down. And, especially fun if you’re ending your island hopping by returning to Manhattan after dark: peer straight into the windows of hundreds of curtain-free high-rise apartments. Come on, that easily beats a view from the Lido Deck of yet another monotonous Caribbean sunset of yet another cruise.

I believe the New York times travel section is hiding a kinky closet peeping tom. He’s advocating taking along binoculars and peeking in to the homes of apartment dwellers in Manhattan as an adventure travel plan. Have to agree, though, that it could be much more fun than watching a sunset or some palm trees. Read descriptions of trips to all five islands here.

And this ain’t the full monty, either. Say New York & Island, and only two names come to mind - Manhattan and Staten Island. But the waters of New York surround more than 30 islands, each with it’s own special attractions, history and culture. In addition to the above mentioned five borough antilles tour, notable New York islands worth visiting include Riker’s Island, which houses about 15,000 prisoners in the world’s largest jail complex. Course, if you’re an involuntary visitor to Riker’s Island, the vacation might last a tad bit longer than a weekend…..

There’s also the Ellis & Liberty islands, historic first port of call for immigrants in the 19th & 20th centuries, with landmarks such as the Statue of Liberty and the Immigration center.

A visit to Lady Liberty is suggested not only because it’s one of the seven wonders of the world, but also because it gives you a better perspective about what it means to be an American. Think about what it means to immigrants when they first see this - Hope and deliverance, the great American dream and a life of prosperity, when they first sight Lady Liberty standing tall in the waters. The Statue of Liberty is not just an architectural wonder. It is a symbol of what America stands for, and what a life as an Ameican means.

There must be something about the air or the food or the water, or maybe the full moon, which brings out the crazy cat side in New Yorkers. The Washington Post has a report on how Governor Eliot L. Spitzer, struggling to close a $4.4 billion budget gap, has proposed making drug dealers pay tax on their stashes of illegal drugs. The new tax would apply to cocaine, heroin and marijuana, and could be paid with pre-bought “tax stamps” affixed to the bags of dope. Some critics in the legislature are asking what the governor has been smoking. “I guess if it moves, he’ll tax it,” said Republican state Sen. Martin J. Golden, who dubbed the proposal “the crack tax.” Some opponents said that because cocaine and weed would be subject to the new levies, it should more aptly be called “the crack-pot tax.”

California’s Arnold and New York’s Spitzer seem to be in an epic contest to see who is the craziest cat when it comes to cutting down on budget shortfalls. Arnold is closing down state parks and Spitzer is taxing dope dealers….May the best nut win.

And since we’re on the subject of crazy cats, a cat that slipped into the New York subway system and disappeared for 25 days has finally been reunited with its owner. New York resident Ashley Phillips said she was surprised subway workers found Georgia, her 7-month-old feline, after such a long time.

Note to every crazy cat in New York (which virtually includes every commuter in Manattan) - Don’t wander around on the subway and practice the basic rules of NYC subway safety, as defined by the MTA NYC Transit. Most subway accidents result from slips, trips, and falls on stairways when someone is in a rush. The best safety advice we can give you is: slow down when you are on the stairs, and hold the handrail.

And since we’re on the subject of Subway guides, let’s consider a few more. Here’s one on ‘how to pick up women on the subway’. Ask people for directions - this is the best and doesn’t even have to be an “icebreaker” — you should just ask for directions if you’re lost because people here are genuinely helpful. Blackberry: Even if you can’t afford to get it activated, type away on it. Even when underground. Girls will know you are so important you can’t be offline for even a minute…Read books with titles like “What to do with all your money” and “Lawyers guide to having a large member.” [Photo Credit - Clayton Hauck]

In fact, if you’re really so desperate for a subway relationship, and it doesn’t seem to be working, there is a legitimate, if somewhat desperate, way of moving things forward. Just head over to NYC Missed Connections on Craigslist and try to get the ball rolling.

Course, don’t take all this literally, and never do something like Joseph Weir, who tried to kiss, fondle and lick the legs and toes of more than 70 women on the New York subway over three years. Weir said his motivation was to get to know the women, but he recalled that often they would move away when he tried to “taste and touch them.”

Like I said, there’s something about New York.

I live by a credo, a guiding principle, a commandment. Call it what you want, but it pretty much defines me and my life, and affects virtually everything I undertake to do, or plan to do. That guiding principle, which motors my moral compass, is that One should do nothing today cause you may not have the time to do it tomorrow. Or something like that.

Now it may sound cheesy (it is), but I’m not the kind of guy who will toil and sacrifice and save and end up with a huge 401k or a million dollar nest egg. In fact, I’m broke. But happy.

I spend what I earn, and only earn enough to let me stay alive. The rest of my time I spend doing nothing. So, my point with all this blather is to induce you to experiment with stepping off the rat race conveyor belt, at least long enough for you to enjoy a weekend or a week at a Bed & Breakfast doing nothing. Absolutely nothing.

As Neil Genzlinger, New York Times, so eloquently puts it,  a bed-and-breakfast or small inn is, to us, a well-appointed cave where we go with the goal of doing nothing. Not just a little bit of nothing between bursts of something. I’m talking about all nothing, all the time. Innkeepers know us. “It’s surprising how many we get,” said Al Granger, owner of the Glasbern Inn, a converted farm in Fogelsville, Pa. “A lot of people just come and vegetate.” Debrah Mosimann, who runs Swiss Woods in Lititz, Pa., with her husband, Werner, sees the phenomenon, too. “I have couples who will come park on the sofa, and that’s where you find them four hours later,” she said. It’s an art form, this aggressive inactivity, one that deserves a guide every bit as detailed as a Fodor’s or Bradt.

Before you tune out of this lazefest, Genzlinger does have some actually useful information which you might want to take note of. For novices, a good way to explore the art of doing nothing is to go someplace where there’s nothing to do. A bottle of your favorite libation is, of course, essential. Nothing else is. Be especially careful not to take any laptops, video games, iPhones, BlackBerrys, briefcases or co-workers. When you check in to your chosen B & B, you may find in your room a selection of pamphlets and magazines promoting local attractions. Burn these immediately…

He suggests a fine list of inns and B&B’s in and around New York for a do-nothing getaway. Let’s start with the Ecce Bed & Breakfast, located at 19 Silverfish Road, Barryville, N.Y.; (845) 557-8562; nestled on the verdant green slopes rising up out of the mist of the Delaware River.

You’re a liar if you tell me you wouldn’t relish a weekend here doing nothing except lazing around, stuffing your face and just watching the river meander through the green countryside.

You can curl up in front of a warm fireplace, just hang around the deck hoping to spot a bald eagle, eat stuffed baked french toast with cream cheese and seasonal fruits, or just pretend to be dead on a hammock.

Other suggestions inclue the The Inn at Lake Joseph 162 Saint Joseph Road, Forestburgh, N.Y.; (845) 791-9506; River Run Bed & Breakfast 882 Main Street, Fleischmanns, N.Y.; 845-254-4884; Glasbern Country Inn 2141 Pack House Road, Fogelsville, Pa.; (610) 285-4723; Swiss Woods Bed & Breakfast 500 Blantz Road, Lititz, Pa.; (800) 594-8018;

It’s a great read. Do read the full article. It’s worth it. I promise you.

In fact, I think this could be a whole new travel sector. ‘Do-nothing vacations’. No cell phones, internet, business meetings, and no historical buildings, no tourist attractions, no surfing or skiing or mountain climbing or any shit like that. All you do, plain and simple, is make like Jughead or Garfield. End of the weekend, you emerge fully relaxed and totally stress free. Only one small problem - You want to continue doing nothing even after the vacation is over. Just a minor hitch….

So there’s this dodgy New York cafe which helped Noah Baumbach, the 38-year-old Brooklyn-born writer-director, land Nicole Kidman as the star of his new drama, Margot at the Wedding. The coffee shop, as unfashionable and dour as it was, proved to be the ideal venue. Scant of customers, they took a table at the rear and were not bothered by autograph hunters. A posse of paparazzi was not waiting outside for them to leave. “There were so few customers,” Baumbach said. “It actually turned out to be ideal that way because it was quiet and no one was gawking.” They chatted for an hour over coffee, Baumbach gave Kidman a copy of the script, and they parted ways. Baumbach was shocked when he received a call the next day.

Well, isn’t that great. And would have been fantastic, if the Chicken**** writer had managed to squeeze in the name of aforementioned dodgy cafe. Talk about a let-down….

Liz Humphreys, USA Today, has a primer for New York tourists, with ten important tips. Don’t be intimidated by the big crowds and bigger buildings. New York can be a friendly and manageable city for visitors if you heed some of this time-tested advice.

The highly practical and useful tips include feeling free to wander (as in it’s a safe city), use the subway with a 7 day unlimited metrocard instead of a taxi, eat dinner early or late instead of waiting for a table, try out the different ethnic cuisines, try shopping in places other than Fifth Avenue, use online ticket brokers to find cheap Broadway show tickets, go to concerts and music shows, pack running shoes and experience Central Park like a New Yorker, don’t come to New York when everyone is shopping, like before Christmas (duh), and lastly, she has some tips for what passes for etiquette in New York.

And since we’re on the subject of navigating New York, the Metropolitan Transport Authority, State of New York, NYC Transit announced today that Trip Planner, http://tripplanner.mta.info, NYC Transit’s online travel itinerary service has received an upgrade in the areas of sophistication and user-friendliness. Now, when a customer requests a map of walking directions developed for their travel itinerary, they will view the city via a new and improved street map. The new map is powered by NAVTEQ map data, a recognized leader in digital map technology, while the 3D and aerial imagery is supplied by Microsoft Virtual Earth. “By utilizing NAVTEQ map data and imagery from Microsoft, we are in a position to provide Trip Planner users with a more realistic street grid view and help them better visualize the walking instructions that accompany their travel itinerary,” said Paul Fleuranges, NYC Transit Vice President of Corporate Communications. Read the full press release here.

One thing that puzzles me is the New York hospitality industry’s fascination with numbers. You’ll find any number of hotels, lodging and even buildings which have numbers rather than names. Consider the Swiss 1291 Bed & Breakfast. It was named after the founding date of Switzerland by the Swiss born Roland Solenthaler.

But more important, and far more relevant, numbers associated with 1291 are the numbers 39, 50 or 140. These are the rates, in dollars, which you would have to pay for a stay at the 1291 B&B for a dorm, private room or a suite/studio/apartment, respectively.

Factor in the location - 337 West 55th Street, between 8th and 9th Avenue, New York, NY 10019; (212) 397-9686. What you essentially get is a place to stay in New York, within walking distance of both Times Square and Central Park for anywhere between $39 to $140.

That’s not only cheap, it’s dirt cheap. Course, it’s not exactly five star accomodation, but that’s not what you need to say to friends back home. What you get to say is that you stayed in a Times Square hotel for $50, and watch their jaws drop.

The dorms have single bunk beds, lockers, shared bathrooms, kitchens and all day breakfast. The private rooms each have a double bed, fridge, radio and some have a television. Bathrooms are still shared. There’s also a big screen television in the liunge.

The New Yorker suites at the 1291 B&B each have a queen size bed and bunk beds with a capability of being able to cofortably house a large group of 4 to 8 people. Comes with fully equipped kitchen, private bathroom, television, radio and phone. Upper floor suites also have a balcony.

So if you’re in a group of 4, you can essentially pay about $35 per head for a spacious suite with your own bath and kitchen. As good as your own apartment. Between Times Square and Central Park. And one more tiny freebie. As long as you stay at the 1291, you get to use a free cellphone which you can use to make calls nationwide, and recieve free international calls. The room charges include a free American breakfast with tea, coffee, milk and cereal. You know of any New York Bed & Breakfasts which offer so much for so little?

Info: 337 West 55th Street New York, NY 10019; (212) 397-9686. Checkin between 8 a.m. to 11 p.m. everyday. email 1291@1291.com Rates may vary depending on season. Additional charges (tax, surcharge, extras) applicable depending on duration of stay, choice of room/dorm/suite and number of guests. Web: www.1291.com